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| Why the Chicken Crossed the Road Jokes |
Why did Bill Clinton Cross The Road?
He Had His Dick Stuck In The Chicken!!
Why did the porkupine cross the road?
Because it was stuck to the chicken.
Because the damn chicken was out of any thing to do.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
BILL CLINTON: What? I didn't even see the chicken! There was no inappropriate
activity between me and the chicken.
JOSEPH STALIN: I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omlette.
RONALD REAGAN: Ask Mommy. I forget.
Why did the taliban chicken cross the road?
It didn't. Afghanistan doesn't have roads.
Engineer: The slope of the road was proportionate to the mass of the
chicken in such a way that the chicken went to the other side.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To see his friend Gregory peck.
southern boy; the chicken crossed the road to show them damn possums
that it can be done.
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
PLATO: For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only
trip the establishment would let it take.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an
unprovoked act of rebellion and we were justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
JACK NICHOLSON: 'cause it f___in'
wanted to. That's the f___in' reason.
RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
CAPTAIN
JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
HIPPOCRATES:
Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
ARTHUR ANDERSEN CONSULTANT:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was
threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant
challenges to
create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market.
Andersen
Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken
by rethinking its
physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry
Integration
Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies,
knowledge, capital
and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes, and technology
in support of its
overall strategy within a Program Management framework.
Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts
and best
chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation
industry to
engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal
knowledge capital,
both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other
in order to achieve the
implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing
an enterprise-wide
value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.
The meeting was
held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment
which was
strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear,
and unified market
message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values.
This was conducive
towards the creation of a total business integration solution.
Andersen
Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.
LOUIS
FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed'
the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
MARTIN LUTHER
KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross
roads without having their motives being called into question.
MOSES:
And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou
shalt
cross the road. "And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more
chickens
have to cross the road before you believe it?
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken
did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT
cross the road!
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the
road. Who cares why? The end of
crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
JERRY SEINFELD:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think
to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the
place, anyway?"
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the
chicken crossed the road reveals your
underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released the new
Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross
the road?" Rather, it is,
"Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste
to observe the
chicken crossing?"
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have
been naturally selected in such a way
that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
EINSTEIN: Whether
the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken upon your
frame of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken
nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road .. it
transcended it.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
COLONEL SANDERS:
I missed one?
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