A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back & inform the other of the "after life" since the woman's biggest fear was that their was no heaven.

Many years later, the husband was first to go and true to his word he made contact.

"MARY....MARY!!!!"

"Is that you FRED?"

"Yes I have come back like we agreed...."

"What is it like?"

"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast....I have sex. I bathe in the sun then I have sex twice. I have lunch then I have sex pretty much all afternoon....then supper then sex till late at night, sleep then start all over again!"

"Oh FRED... You surely must be in heaven!"

"HELL NO ... I'M A RABBIT IN KANSAS!"

The inventor Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation,
died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur,

"Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven." Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to

God. Arthur then asked God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of woman?" God said, "Ah, yes." "Well, " said Arthur, "professional to professional, youbhave some major design flaws in your invention:

1.. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion.
2.. It chatters constantly at high speeds.
3.. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.
4.. The intake is placed way to close to the exhaust and finally,
5.. The maintenance costs are outrageous."

"Hmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold on." God went to his Celestial super computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it. "Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours.