The phone rings and a little boy answers...
Boy (whispering) : "Hello."
Caller : "Hello, I was wondering if I could speak to your mother?"
Boy (whispering) : "She's busy."
Caller : "Oh, well then could I speak to your father?"
Boy (whispering) : "He's busy too."
Caller : "Well, is there any adult there I could speak to?"
Boy (whispering) : "The police are here."
Caller : "Goodness, could I speak to one of the officers?”
Boy (whispering) : "They're busy.”
Caller : "There must be somebody there I could speak to?"
Boy (whispering) : "The firemen are here.”
Caller : "Son, please let me speak to one of the firemen."
Boy (whispering) : "They're all busy.”
Caller : "Look, I think I really should speak to somebody,what is everybody doing that's making them so busy.”
Boy (whispering) : "They're looking for me."

There was 2 brother that shared a room. One was 18 and the other was 8. The 18 year old brought home his girlfriend at midnight. The little brother was sleeping so they climbed quietly to the top bunk. Things started getting hot and heavy so the guy told his girlfriend if she wants a new position to say "lettuce" and if she wants him to stop say "tomatoe". So she started saying "lettuce, tomatoes, lettuce, tomatoe.... take it out I don't want to get pregnant." The little boy woke up and screamed, "Stop making sandwiches up there, your getting mayonaise all over my face!"

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
Well I hope you remember my story when they start getting frustrated.
My 3 year old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.
One day we stoped at taco bell for a quick lunch in between errands,it was so busy with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco I smelled something funny so of course I checked my 7 year old daughter and she was clean.
Then I realized that Matt had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him and he said no!
I kept thinking, oh lord that child has had an accident and I didn't have any clothes with me.
Then I said, Matt are you sure you did not have an accident, he said, no mommy it's just gas.
I just knew that he must have had an accident cause the smell was getting worse. SOOO I asked one more time MATT DID YOU HAVE AN ACCIDENT!
This time with a little smirk on his face he jumped up, and yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled, SEE MOM IT'S JUST GAS!!!!...
While 100 people nearly choked to death on their tacos he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down to eat his food as if nothing happened.
I was mortified but some kind elderly people made me feel a lot better when they came over and thanked me for the best laugh they had ever had.

Two boys from the city were on a camping trip. The mosquitoes were so fierce the boys had to hide under their blankets to keep from being bitten. Then one of them saw some lightning bugs, and said to his friend: -We might as well give up, they're coming at us with flashlights!

A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his 4-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence, soaking in the whole event. The man thought, "Great... he's 4 and I'm gonna have to start explaining the birds and the bees. No need to jump the gun - I'll just let him ask, and I'll answer." After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said, "Well son, do you have any questions?" "Just one," gasped the still wide-eyed lad. "How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?"

Daddy, where did I come from?" the seven-year-old asked. It was a moment for which her parents had carefully prepared. They took her into the living room, got out the encyclopedia and several other books, and explained all they thought she should know about sexual attraction, affection, love, and reproductions. Then they both sat back and smiled contentedly. "Does that answer your question?" her father asked. "Not really," the little girl said. "Marcia said she came from Detroit. I want to know where I came from."