This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it.

It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.

As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party, was a manila envelope. He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope.

Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man. The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had decided to hire a private detective to tail them just to verify this.

After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, "F--- you"; he turned to his bride and said, "F--- you!" Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, "I'm outta here."

He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning. While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong.

His revenge ... making the bride's parents pay the $32,000 for a 300 guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and family members. This guy has balls the size of church bells. Do you think we might get a MasterCard "priceless" commercial outta this?

Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends
...................................$32,000.

Wedding photographs commemorating the events
....................................$3,000.

Deluxe two-week honeymoon accommodations in Maui
......................................$8,500

The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the Best man
.......................................PRICELESS!!

There are some things money can't buy; for everything else, there's MASTERCARD!!!

A young woman was suffering badly from hay fever. She was going to a fancy dinner party that night and figured she would need at least two handkerchiefs to get her through the evening. She didn't have any pockets, so she stuffed them both in her bra.

Halfway through the night, she had already used up one handkerchief and was rummaging around in her bra for the other one. She was having trouble finding it, and soon she noticed that everyone at the table was looking at her.

"What on earth are you doing?" asked one of her colleagues.

She replied: "I could have sworn I had two when I arrived!"

Some Jokes for the Keg Party:

Hope you enjoy them.

Q. What's the speed limit of sex?
A. 68; at 69 you have to turn around.

Q. Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?
A. She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, "Lie to me!"

Q. Why is air a lot like sex?
A. Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

Q: Why are Monica Lewinsky's cheeks so puffy?
A: She's withholding evidence.

Q. What's the difference between light and hard?
A. You can sleep with a light on.

Q. Why is sex like a bridge game?
A. You don't need a partner if you have a good hand.

Q. Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
A. Because it scares the hell out of the dog.

Q. What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.

Q. What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
A. Erotic is using a feather . . . kinky is using the whole chicken.

Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One. . . Men will screw anything.

Q. If there were 4 potatoes in a room, which one would be the prostitute?
A. The one that's labeled "IDAHO"

Q. What is the difference between a peeping tom and a robber?
A. A robber snatches watches.

A lady is giving a party for her granddaughter, and has gone all out - caterer, band, and a hired clown. Just before the party starts, two guys show up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for them, the woman tells them that they can get a meal if they will chop some firewood. Gratefully, they head to the rear of the house. Guests arrive, and all is going well with the children having a wonderful time. But the clown has not shown up, and finally, the clown calls to report that he is stuck in traffic, and will probably not make the party at all. The woman is very disappointed and unsuccessfully tries to entertain the children herself. She happens to look out the window and sees one of the guys doing cartwheels across the lawn. She watches in awe as he swings from tree branches, does midair flips, and leaps high in the air. She calls the other guy over and says, "What your friend is doing is absolutely marvelous. I have never seen such a thing. Do you think your friend would consider repeating this performance for the children at the party? I would pay him $50!" "Well...," he responds, "I dunno...let me ask him... "HEY WILLIE...FOR $50 WOULD YOU CHOP OFF ANOTHER TOE?"."